It can be difficult to start the conversation about estate planning with your family.  Often, our generational differences build barriers between us making it uncomfortable to effectively communicate our opinions and feelings. What steps can be taken to breakdown those barriers?

Prepare a List of Talking Points

Prepare a list of all of the things that are on your mind.  Ask your family members to do the same.  By doing so, you will be able to better express your present and future concerns.  Prioritize your list by what your greatest concerns are to make sure you address them before the conversation ends

Start the Conversation

Simply start the conversation. Getting the ball rolling on this topic is easier said than done, but having a list of talking points can help you stay on track.  Try to first think about the family objectives and focus on keeping the conversation within the parameters of those objectives. Start with a point of interest that is specific to your family and build out what impacts that interest. Keep in mind, some topics will be more sensitive then others, and you may not cover all things at once.

Understand the Other Person’s Perspective

Try to understand where the other person is coming from.  Aging parents will likely be less comfortable talking about their end of life decisions or their personal finances, whereas adult children may be more forthcoming.  An understanding of the multitude of feelings and emotions that are involved will make the conversation less awkward and uncomfortable.

Starting the conversation early and breaking the ice is the first step at breaking down the barriers among family members.  Planning in advance can help lighten the load and ensure that your family is protected in the event of an emergency.  Proper planning can also provide you with a greater peace of mind.  

If your parents or other family members have prepared an Estate Plan, but need help communicating what their plan says or make their family members know their wishes, we can help.  Our office now offers a “Family Preparation Plan” which includes the following:

Review of existing Trust, Will, and other Estate Planning Documents

Analysis and personalized summary of Estate Plan

Order and review of all California Real Property Deeds

Review of financial holdings and funding instructions

Family meeting with Attorney to discuss the plan

Feel free to contact us to discuss the “Family Preparation Plan” and your family’s particular needs and goals.  We would love to help.